What
mischief can Amy possibly get up to?
Pizza
and Polenta – Expat life in Southern Italy
Ahh…small
town Southern Italy...you're
walking along the street, gazing at crumbling but charming buildings with
painted shutters and flowers on the balcony, women sat outside on wooden chairs
exchanging words (and many hand gestures) with their neighbours, who also
happen to be sat on wooden chairs preparing some kind of tasty vegetable that's
in season.
If
only you'd come in with your big group of English speaking
friends. But wait!! You haven't got any English
speaking friends in this small, southern Italian town!
There's a distinct lack of fellow expats in this traditional, Italian community!
How on earth am I going to fit in if I can't even buy gelato successfully, you
say, whilst coming out with something that looks and tastes remarkably like
strawberry...?
Before
you start panicking because - maybe soon - you’re going to be in the same
situation - don't worry!
As
a resident of a small, southern Italian town, I
can reassure you that such experiences (involving gelato or otherwise), even if
they do occur, don't continue forever. I moved here just over 18 months ago to
take a teaching job at a private language school. I knew nothing of Italy or the Italians, only
that summers were hot; people ate lots of pizza and - language wise?? Well, 'ciao' was pretty much it. But being
thrown in at the deep end, which was definitely what happened to me, is
definitely the best way to be thrown in. Yes, you might cough and splutter a
bit, and have to put in a fair amount of effort to swim to the top, but once
you surface, you'll feel pretty good about yourself.
Moving
to another country, and not even to a big city where you may have the chance to
find more English
speakers or other expats, but to a little town right off the tourist trail, is
challenging. I remember many, many occasions in which I nodded and smiled
whilst people were talking to me, not understanding a single word. I
would go into shops and use an embarrassing amount of hand gestures to try and
get what I wanted, and even then coming out with the most expensive/completely
wrong thing.
People
laughed (albeit kindly) when I got the pronunciation wrong or said entirely the
wrong word. But before you think it's simply too difficult, I can assure you
that it's not. 18 months later I can now communicate. I can ask for what I
need, understand what is being said to me, and say if something's not quite
right. I had the good fortune of finding a tutor who, for a long time, spoke at
me in Italian
(and only Italian)
while I sat there not understanding anything. But eventually I started getting
it. And eventually I started being able to reply.
With
a grasp of the language, it's obviously easier to meet people, and to start
forging friendships. Small towns, particularly these southern Italian ones, are
home to groups of people who have been friends since their first day of school.
They are traditional. Becoming part of one of these circles of friends takes
time. You are foreign, you don't understand all of their jokes and to
put it plainly, they don't know you.
Talk
to people and get involved, even if you feel silly at first. They will be
interested in you, if only because you're different. So use it to your advantage!
Should they continue to just stare at you (which they tend to do quite a bit
here), just smile. Then, even if they
do talk about 'that person who's not from round 'ere', at least they can't say
you're a grumpy so and so!
But
it's not only the language and making friends which can be challenging. Yes,
conquering it is a fundamental part of being able to enjoy your experience
abroad, but there are other things to think about too. It goes without saying
that you will be faced with a whole load of cultural differences in your small
town, more so than the bigger cities.
In
Milan for example, they've actually heard of Starbucks. The shops don't all
shut in the afternoon, and I'm pretty sure they eat non-Italian cuisine
and packaged sandwiches. Some cultural differences will be barely noticeable
and actually really pleasant. Others won't.
Down
in the south of Italy,
you come across a lot of people with more traditional views, who aren't so
‘open minded' (as admitted by many southerners themselves). The trick to
dealing with differences that you aren't used to, or dealing with people who
have very particular ways of thinking is of course, to do just the opposite.
Be open minded!
Small
town, off the tourist path locations may be even harder to get used to. I'm not
the most patient person. But exercising patience and tolerance will not only
make your day much easier, but people will respect you. The distinct lack of
queuing abilities here and the absence of friendly service in restaurants still
irritate me somewhat.
But
it’s pretty much made up for by the incredible food, amazing wine, tolerance of lateness (you always have
that 5 minutes) and the 2 hour nap that you are almost required to take
in the afternoon. Now, that I don't
have a problem with!
It's
not all going to come at once. You aren't all of a sudden going to be
catapulted into a glorious world of al fresco coffee drinking with friends,
sharing jokes in the native language and being able to do your shopping without
the fear of accidentally asking for horse meat when you want beef.
But it will happen.
Just
get yourself out there and embrace that other culture, that other language and
those other interesting people who may not be quite like you, but are certainly
interested in getting to know you. Once you've got the hang of small town
living, it really is incredibly fulfilling.
And
if all else fails, gesticulate. That's what I do!!
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